Principles – principes

Restorative principles

Despite of our common rejection of jail and punishment, and because of lack of elder or other references,  we still use a lot of punishing, shaming and convicting labels to describe pain, harm and conflict (toxic, abuse, abuser, offender, perpetrator, assault…). Some understandings of power relations are sometimes sadly used in a way that every conflicts are seen as abuses. Because we don’t know how to handle the fact that power and conflict are part of our community, we try to kick them out. As a result, some mis-understanding of transformative and restorative justice intentions become awfully punishing. When mixed with call out culture, exigences of accountability, create shame, guilt, freezing and extremely painful forms of suspicion, rumors, rejection, exclusion that ostracized members of our communities in ways that can be as or worst damaging than existing punitive systems, ending up in exile, burn out, suicide, or at best, constant anxiety.

Restorative systems
By creating restorative systems, we make space for conflict, we know it will be part of our life, we know we have complex power dynamic among us, and within us, along with trauma, habits of shame and shaming.  The intention is to create the condition of a healing culture, so we don’t end up hurting each over more, or being at risk of exclusion, if anything happen. Rather than being asked to become accountable in a highly suspicious culture, it’s easier to take responsibility, where there is space for conflict, where we know how to get close to conflict together.

Restorative circles
In restorative circles, people and relations are seen in their deep humanity and complexity. We listen to each over stories, their relation to system and personal stories of oppression, fear or trauma by respecting each other windows of tolerance. We use somatic and embodied practices to titrate the process and slow down dialogues, so everyone feel heard and understood. We bring participant to take responsibility by sharing about how they feel about what as done and what they were trying to do when they did what they did, making sure they feel heard and understanding in their sharing. And it s only from a place of mutual understanding and desires to contribute that we move toward forms of reparation.

Imago Dialogue (en français)

Le dialogue Imago est une structure de conversation qui encourage la connexion et la compréhension entre deux personnes. La principale c’est qu’une personne partage à la fois. Je l’utilise pour les discussions chargées quand écouter et valider ne me viennent pas naturellement. J’aime montrer cette méthode à mes ami·e·s et à mes proches. Je les initie d’abord par l’échange de compliments. La première étape consiste à ce que deux personnes décident d’utiliser de façon intentionnelle. Ensuite, il y a 3 étapes principales: Mirroir, Validation et Empathie. (plus d’info)

Imago Dialogue (English)

A conversation structure used to foster connection and understanding between two people. The main principal is that one person shares at a time. I use it when I have charged conversations where listening and validating don’t come naturally. I like to practice it with friends and close ones first using compliments! The first step to an Imago Dialogue to for both parties to agree to have one. From there are 3 main steps: Mirroring, Validation, and Empathy. (More info)

FACILITATORS

In communities who cherish and share a restorative cultures any members can become the facilitator of each other conflicts (when we’re not part of a conflict). It’s less a mater of expertise than sharing listening skills and restorative hearts. For now, a few of us host circles for each other.

goldjian (anne goldenberg) queer immigrant from fRance, who lives in Tiohta:ke (aka montreal) and learned restorative practices to make space and transform their guilt into responsabilities, and heal their own and relative conflicts. They were introduced to restorative work through Ron Meetoos, a Cree two spirited artist working on decolonial restoration, and learned this particular practice of restorative circles and systems with their friend Di Ponti, who lives in Christiania, Copenhagen. Goldjian deepen this work because of a high concern they have for how we treat, punish, exile, shame each other in queer, artistic and activist communities. They facilitate restorative circles, help groups create their own restorative systems and offer workshops because of the powerful sense of healing this practice is allowing. This work also makes space for grieving and support systems. Their intention is to contribute to a restorative culture (vs withholding a specialty) that can support more of us to move forward to safer places of collective healing and transformation. One of their dreams is to build a Queer Anarchist Intimacy Restorative Network.
Angie Naranjo est originaire du Vénézuéla et a grandi dans les quartiers populaires et immigrants du nord-est de Montréal. Elle est étudiante en techniques de bioécologie, musicienne folklorique et œuvre à restaurer les relations humaines et informatiques. Elle s’est formée aux cercles restaurateurs et a co-facilité des cercles et des ateliers avec goldjian depuis deux ans.
Ander Gates

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